Lullaby
by xxbeyondxbirthdayxx
Summary: Yuu-chan... Yuu-chan. I've kept it on the back of my tongue with a taste of bitter sweet memories, and freeing my voice, allowing me to finally speak his name, leaves me speechless besides the mention of what has always kept me hoping - MIKA POV, MikaYuu, spoilers for end of manga volume 3 and anime season 1 episode 11.


_**Note:** This manga/anime has touched me where only Death Note had until now, so I guess you can say I'm a little bit obsessed right now. This has been bugging me since I saw the scene I'm writing about so here's a little Mika POV of it.  
I can't get over how Mello-esque Mika looks, and the fact that he has the same name as a character of a novel I'm writing doesn't help :D_

 _I still don't know if I'm letting it end here and so keep it in the storyline, or if I will add a chapter to satisfy the yaoi fangirl in me screaming for an alternate version of what's happening after this scene._

 _I'm always very much confused with ratings (I usually don't care much since I mostly write M material), so I'll rate T for now? K+ maybe, I have no idea._

 ** _SPOILER ALERT for season 01 episode 11 and manga end of volume 3_**

 _Also I only know the Japanese version of this anime/manga so writing in English made the transition odd, and although I'm sticking to the story, keep in mind that I'm using dialogs and names as they are told in the Japanese version (Yuu-chan for example), the real English version is probably different so if you're used to it, bear with the differences, thank you!  
_

* * *

"GUREN!"

 _You can scream as much as you want, this filthy human at the tip of my blade will be dead before you run half the way to stop me_ , I thought, as the voice kept on calling the human lieutenant bleeding at my feet.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!"

I turn around, glaring at the irritating owner of the voice. Humans, so lowly, so disappointingly weak. Yes, I have been one, and even at that time, I despised my weakness. Without it, I would have been able to take my family to safety, I wouldn't have had to see them murdered by Felid, I wouldn't have died either. And I wouldn't have been revived as a vampire against my will... but I guess my situation is all or nothing: being humanly weak, or being a strong vampire... or is it?

But... Yuu-chan.  
The voice, I hadn't recognised it. We were children at the time, and it's now a man yelling at the top of his lungs for me to let his leader live.  
But those eyes... this face, even now four years older, I would know who they belong to, for these traits are carved in my heart, keeping it beating with hope beyond the day it should have stopped, the day I shifted from mortal to eternal...

"Yuu-chan!"  
The name escapes my lips as I feel the blade penetrate my chest. Half the length of the steel weapon rattles my insides, and even though I know that I won't die, he doesn't know, and I see the horror in his eyes as he finally recognises me too. As his mind processes that I am alive, that we are reunited, and that he's killing me, I can even see the light that appeared in his irises at the sight of his childhood friend die down just as fast as it came.

Somehow, as the world is shutting down around us, narrowing life to only him and me... Yuu-chan and me... I still can hear the sounds of the battlefield in the background, but I'm deaf to what's happening nonetheless, because he's finally here, next to me... Yuu-chan. My only reason to be in this world. I've finally found him.

In a last surge of strength, the lieutenant pushes me away from Yuu-chan, and I land a good distance further, Ferid joining me, enjoying the show with his usual carefree attitude.

But in the distance, I feel him. Yuu-chan.  
My senses are five times stronger than humans, he doesn't know, but from where I stand, the wound he inflicted me closing already, I feel his breath, heavier from the stress and the surprise, I sense his heartbeat, as his eyes lock with mines, I crave the heat emanating from his body, this body that belongs to a man now, but I know, just by the look in his eyes, that he's, just like me, back four years ago, a mere child, replaying the macabre scenario of our separation, in disbelief in front of me standing here when he thought I was long dead, in confusion because I am among vampires, and that's what he's fighting against. Or should be...

He's lost. He should have killed me, the other humans around him are screaming at him for letting me get away, and it's not like he hadn't had a chance at summoning the demonic power of his blade to finish me. He spared me on purpose, and they don't understand.  
Yes, he's lost, because his duty and his vow of revenge are suddenly in jeopardy. It's his loyalty to me, his undying love for me, who once was his family, that are taking over, and he can't even begin to explain it to his mates because it's so wrong in regards to his enrolment.

 _Yuu-chan. You don't have my senses, but you do see that I still care for you, don't you?  
My eyes don't lie, can you see it?_

"Mika..."  
My name... his voice... I never quite knew who I was, since the day I became a vampire, I never even drank human blood to this day, feeding on vampire blood only, because I just couldn't resolve myself to embrace the vampire life, which I despise just as much as human life.  
But even if I'm no human anymore, and not exactly a regular vampire... I am still Mika. And coming out of his mouth... I feel that even if I don't quite know myself anymore, Yuu-chan, he knows. I am still his Mika...

"Mika, is that really you?"  
I wish I could speak up, but the words are caught in my throat. These emotions, they're very much human, and I feel my eyes water in response to his tears.  
"Yuu-chan..."

These humans around him, I want to swipe them from the earth, they lie to him, they manipulate him, and I know that we're risking the breaking point now. I can feel it, pouring like a river out of him. The emotions he can't control, too much, too strong, and no way to alleviate the insane crush on his heart. I know, because it's my heart crushing along with his. His soul is mine, it's literally mine, it has always been, him for me, me for him, we've always had more than our backs anyway.  
And so, in a heartbeat, I take the escape route that Ferid is offering me, and off I run...

 _Yuu-chan. Yuu-chan. You're with me now, in my arms, can you feel me protecting you?  
I made it... I found you, and I'm never letting you go._

For a moment, Yuu-chan looks at me as I carry him away, jumping from collapsed walls to roofs, and in this moment, he's so warm against my cold body. I can almost feel the blood course through him, in a long entanglement of veins, his heart pumping faster each second that passes, keeping my will tied to a very fragile string. I'm holding on to it as the need increases... No, it's not his blood I want, just his warmth, his presence, I just don't want to be so cold anymore, no... I'm not letting him go...

Yuu-chan... Yuu-chan. I've kept it on the back of my tongue with a taste of bitter sweet memories, and freeing my voice, allowing me to finally speak his name, leaves me speechless besides the mention of what has always kept me hoping.

Yuu-chan, Yuu-chan...  
My mantra, my lullaby.


End file.
